Friday, January 11, 2008


Well I am writing in this because I am really mad at the moment and who better to talk to than my blog (yes, the one I forgot about). I feel this is the best place to vent because no one knows this page exists and therefore I can vent freely. I really don't want anyone to know about this page because I want to use it for therapy.

Well I am mad because I am having a bad day. I know that we all have bad days, but today started out okay then turned to shit. I have a function to attend tomorrow and I had a hair appt that got cancelled and that made me upset because I hate when I plan something that doesn't go through. So I called my backup hair stylist and made an appt. When she told me she could see me I felt so relieved and then I showed up to her door for her to then tell me she can't do my hair. I left furious b/c I thought she would help me. Now I would do my own hair, but my hair hangs down to my waist and it is too long to straighten by myself. I have been growing my hair to donate it and I truly believe this year will be the year I donate it. I wanted to do it last year but my boyfriend loves it and he would have been hurt if I cut it so I waited. I think this year will be best to do it because it really weighs me down and I am tired of just leaving down and it looking the way it always does. I think cutting it and giving it to Locks of Love will also cleanse my spirit. I think this will allow me to feel whole once I grow new hair.

The whole hair appt is not the only thing upsetting me. I am also upset because my boyfriends sister hates me. All of his friends love me and his mom loves me too but his sister can't stand me and I have only tried to be nice to her. I am by nature a sweet fun loving person who enjoys to talk to people and make new friends. His sister also always hangs out with his ex who I can't stand and that really bothers me. It makes me feel like his sis wishes he were with his ex instead of me. It hurts that she never gave me a chance. I always give people chances and I'd like for her to be at least friendly with me. I am not a bad person and I feel like when she talks to me its a disgusting chore for her to do. Her 7 year old son loves me, but I think she secretly wishes I would die. One of her closest friends is his ex so I know she must secretly hate me since his ex hates me.

I know I am the more mature person and I will continue to keep my head up and Kill her with kindness, but deep down inside I wish she were cordial with me. Let's see what happens.

Well I am going to get to bed now. My eyes are heavy from crying.

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